No one goes into marriage thinking they will get divorced. Most go in with bright hopes for the future and the dreams of happily ever after. For those of us who do go through divorce or struggle through marriage, I feel we all learn different lessons that we hopefully will grow from, apply in our current relationships, or take into our next ones.

Relationships are hard. They take work. Just like a job if you work at your relationships long enough– you will be rewarded from the fruits of your labor. If you fail to nurture your relationships there will always be someone who is willing to take your place and do the work. Don’t let anyone take your job if you feel it is worth fighting for.

Of course, in every situation, there are jobs we sadly outgrow or they outgrow us. We learn all that we could learn from them, and we either decide to tough it out or that it is time to move on. This goes the same for relationships.

There is no right or wrong, as we are all different people, with different sets of circumstances. The only thing that matters is that our circumstances lead us to where we are meant to be.

I reached out to several people asking what lessons they learned from their divorces, their marriages, and about themselves.

And here is what they had to say

6 Lessons Learned Through Divorce and Marriage

1) Healing From A Broken heart Takes Time

Give yourself some time to heal. The world can break everyone but don’t let it break you! Get to know yourself before you invite someone else to share your life with you. Don’t look for someone to make you happy. Learn to be happy on your own, then find someone to join you in your happiness. –Michael Clemente

2) Be Open For Change

Take the time to metamorphosize into the person you always wanted to be. People change.We get older, yet hopefully wiser. We experience loss of loved ones and the births of new lives. And, if we are lucky there are some glorious moments in between; cherish those moments as time passes by quickly.

“I didn’t always know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the kind of woman I wanted to be.”- Diane von F├╝rstenberg

3) Life Is Never Harder Or Easier

We have all heard the old adage of the grass being greener on the other side. I have been told that sometimes there are just weeds on the other side, and you have to pull them out to see the beautiful grass.

Married people don’t have it easier than single people; they just have it different. When you go from being married to being single you just exchange one set of circumstances for another. Know that everyone has their own uniques set of circumstances and problems.

4) Nothing Feels As Good As Letting Go

Even though letting go can often be hard; the sooner we realize that letting go is for us and not them, then the sooner we are able to live the life we dream about. Letting go can help you free up space you’ve held hostage in your heart of bitterness and anger, and make room for love and happiness.

Letting go can help you reclaim parts of yourself that were lost (or never found). For Sandy Weiner, it meant that she was able to reach new heights. Dream bigger, live happier, and feel more fulfilled.

You only harm yourself by holding a grudge. Learn to kill those with kindness who were once in your life . It really does work. -Scott Wolcott

Most of all, forgive yourself. We’re not all compatible. This does not make one person “bad”. Know when to let go and move on. -Connie Bowers Cote

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi

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